Posted by nux at 10:58PM, 11/Aug/10.
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WOMEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Barge arse
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Formerly a slut
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Average - Fat
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic - Watches a lot of sports on TV
Average guy - Has a head like a robbers dog, but has a friendly nature.
Educated - Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit - Willing to bang your sister and your mother.
Friendship first - You're dumped if you dont put out on 2nd date - no later !
Fun - Pisshead.
Good looking - Arrogant
Very good looking - Happy to have sex with himself if you dont put out.
Honest - Pathological Liar
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a Yetti
Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy
Mature - Older than your father
Open-minded - Back door bandit.
Physically fit - Has the ability to run away if neccessary
Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks
Spiritual - Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable - Arrested for stalking, but not convicted