Let’s save time: I’m blunt, sarcastic, and not built for people who require emotional bubble wrap.
I say exactly what I think and somehow still sleep perfectly fine at night.

I’m down-to-earth, easygoing, and open-minded…
but I also like the best of the best.
Some call it high maintenance—I call it having standards and excellent taste.

I’m adventurous and will try almost anything at least once. Life’s more interesting that way, and boring people are my natural enemy.

I also have a very dark sense of humour.
If you’re easily offended, sensitive, or require constant reassurance, this probably won’t go well for you.
If you can handle sarcasm, laugh at slightly inappropriate jokes, and keep up with someone who knows exactly what they want—congratulations, you might survive a conversation with me.

Let’s not waste each other’s time.

There’s a very specific age range, a very specific level of class, and a very specific look required to even get my attention. Standards aren’t negotiable.

Quick clarification: AGE MATTERS.

Under 35 – conversation is possible, expectations are not.

Over 45 – exceptions may be made if everything else is elite.

Consider this your official disclaimer.

Now for the real challenge, timing. Because the chances of those requirements not already being fulfilled are… limited.

You’re welcome to take a number, get comfortable in the queue, and hope for the best.

But if you genuinely tick every box?
Don’t worry. You won’t need a number.
You’ll know. And more importantly… so will I.