“I am a rocket scientist. I’ve appeared on the cover of GQ – twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I’m yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping maitais… shaken, not stirred.

Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai, and I got a B+ in my 5th-grade science class. Message me for more straight talk, and I’ll send you FB links, photos of science fair trophies, and much MUCH more…”